Tarmal!

DOS and LACK OF TARMAL!

2010-12-04T19:18:00.000-08:00

OURR FUCCEN BRO DB!1 GOT HISS SITE TAMRALL SLAPWHOARED UP BY SOME FUCCNE CHAN MEATSTICCKS~! BALL MEATT THAT FUFCCEN LIVES IN BASEMEN TSD AND FUCCKS WITH WEBSSSITES HAVAE NO FUCCEN TARMAL! CCLEBTRATE DB1 FUCCNE HERE! FJUST DONT FUCCEN TALK AOBUT ZZZYZYYZYZYZ! I DO NT HAVW TIMET O TDEAL WITH FUCCEN DOS!

Plumbing and LACK OF TARMAL

2010-04-11T18:16:00.000-07:00

FUE! I HAD A FUCCEN PLUBMER COME AND REPLACE MY OLD SLAPWHOAR HOT WANTER TANK! BUT LOOK TAT THIS FUCCEN SHIT! THE BITCHWAD PLUBMBER BROUGHT A TANK THAT"S TOO BFUCCEN BIG AND NOW FY FUCCEWN CLOSET DOOR WONT FUCCEN OPEN BECAUE TI DOESN"T CLEAR THE FUFCCEN TANK!!IC ANT GEWT MY SOFT LUXIURIOUS FUCEN BATH TOWOLES OUT OF THE CLOSET WITHOUT FUCCNE TAKIGN THE DOOR OFF! FAGOATHS!

WHAT SHOUDL IF UCCEN DO? MAKE HIM CYRY SALTY FUCCEN TEARS!?

Reader Questions and TARMAL

2010-02-28T16:10:00.000-08:00

TEH ABOMINABLE FUCCEN SNOWDOUCHE WRITES IN ASKIGN ABOUT LEVELSO F TAMRMAL! THISS IS A VALLID FUCCEN QUESTIONN SO HEAR ME NOW!

TEHRE ARE NO FUCEN LEVELS OF TARMAL! THERE IS ONLY TARMAL AND NO FUCCEN TARMAL! YOUC ANT GET A FUCCEN BROWN BELTE IN TAMRAL LIKE YOU CAN IN KARATE AND THEN HOPE E TO FUCCEN GEWT A BLACKBELET LATER! YOU CNA ONLY STUDY TAMRLA AN DHOPE TO OBYTAIN THAT SHIT! THIS IGHT MAKE IT SEEM LIKE TAMRAL IS TOTO FUCEN HARD TO GET BUT IA SSURE YOU THE FUCCEN PATH IS WORTHY OF FAOLLOWING IEVEN IF YOURE A SLAPWHOAR!

IN HONR O F SNOWDOUCHE, HERE E IS A OIPCTURE OF A WINTER FUCCEN TARMALAND@!

White Rabbit and TARMAL

2009-12-08T09:50:00.000-08:00

IN MY LAST FUCEN POST, ANTHONY LABAGLIA ADE AN INTERESTING POITN ABOUT TAMRAL MAKING YOUR LAEGER AND SMALLER! ALLOW ME TOF UCEN ELBARATE ON THAT:

ONE TMARLA MAKES YOU LAREGER!
AND ONE TARMAL MAKES YOU SMALLL!
AND THE ONES THAT MOTHER GUVES YOU
DONT FUCEN DO ANYTHIGN AT ALL!!
GO ASK THAT SLAPWHOSAR ALICE
WHEN SEHS TEN FEET TALL!

AND IF YOU GO FUCEN C HASING RABBHITS!
AND YOU KNOW YORE" GOING TO FAL!
TELL EM A METH SMOKIGN CATERPILLAR
HAS GIVE N YOU TARMAL@!
CALL FUCEN SLAPWHOAR ALICE
WHEN SEH WAS JUST SMALL!

WHEN FAGOATHS ON TEH CHDSSBOARD
GET UPAND TELL YOU TO GO TO FUCEN HELL!
AND YOUE JSUT HAVE SOME KIND OF MUHSROOM
AND YOUR TAMRAL IS MOVING LOW!
GO ASK THAT HWOAR ALICE!
I THINK SHE"LL KNOW WHERE TO GO!

WHEN KLOGIC AND MASTURBATEION!
HAVE FALLEN SLOPYY DEAD!
AND TEH WHITE KNIGHT IS ACXITNG BATHSHIT!
AND THE RED QUEENS "GIVE ME SOME HEAD!@"
REMEMBER WHAT THAT FUCEN DOORMOUSE SAID!
FEED YOUR TARAML!
FEED YOUR TARAL!
FEED OYUR TARMLA!@

TARMAL RENNAISANCE!

2009-10-01T19:12:00.000-07:00

THE TOPIC OF TAMRLA HAS COME UP VEREY REENTLY IN HCDWDB POSTS<>

OVER TEH OCMING FUCEN WEEKS<> I WILL BE A STERN TASKMASTER FO RY YIU ALL< MAYBW CAUSEING SALTY TEASRS OF SANDESS< BUT I THINK YOU MAY ASO GHAVE SLATY TEARS OF JIOY.

LET"S STARTH THIS STHIT UP> IN THE COMMENTS FOR THIS POST<> TELL ME YOUR FUCEN FAGOATHY FEARS, TELL ME WHY YOU THITNK GYIOU HAVE TARMAL, OR WHTY YOU THIBNK YOUVE JLOST TAMRAL> IF I LERANED ANTGUNG AT YALE, THEN PRISON, AND NOW FORM MT CURRETN DAYCARE HJOB< I THINK I KNOW HOW TO GUIDE PEOPEL TOWARD TARMAL! ALL COMMETNS WELCOME, AND IWLL TYR TO ANSWER ALL POSTS!

Miley Cyrus and TARMAL

2009-03-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

USUALY I WOULDNT GIVE A FLYIGN SLAPWHOAR AOBUT SOME POP MSUIC CRAP> TARMLA HAS PUT ME ON A AHIGHER PATH! BUT MILEY CYSRUS IS SUCH A MEATWHOILE THAT I HAVE TO FUCEN COUMMENT.

EVEYROBYD FUCEN KNOW S THAT SHE QWANTED TO MEET RADIOHEAD BUT THEY SISAD "FUCE THAT YOU DISNEY SLUT PRODUCTT!" I THINK THPOM YORKE IS OVERINDULGED OSETIMES, AND PEOPLE SAY "OH YOURE: A FUCEN GENIUS" EVEN IF HE J&SUT FUCEN FARTS INTO A MICRPHONE FOR 3 HORUS ANDR ELAESES IT ON CD, BU THERE"S NOT QUESTION THAT THEY"RE MORE FUCEN TALENTD THAN MILEY AND THE OTHER TEEN WHOAR POPTARDS! I TELEL MY DAYCARE KDIS NOT TO IDOLIZE SOME FUCNE STARS BECUASE THEY"RE FAGAOTHS AND HAVW NO FUCEN TARMAL! A RELA HERO IS AFUCEN FIREMAN OR A HEPFUL FUCEN NEIGHBOR! NOT SUOCM ENTITLED FUDCEN CELEBRITY!

I JUST HOIPE THAT MILEY DOENS"T SHAVE HER FUCNE HEAD AN DOG BATHSHIT CRAZXY. SEH SHHOULD DO PORNOS ISNTEAD!

Neighbors and TARMAL, Part 2

2009-03-03T11:13:00.000-08:00

IN Y LAST POST I TALKED AOBU TMY FUCEN SLAPHOLE NEIGHGBORS PLAYING THAT FUCEN "ROCK BANDF" GAME ALLT HE FUCEN TIME. THEY ARE TONE ODEAF AND SHITTY AT IT< WHICHP ISSED ME THE FUCE OFF!

SOMBOECDY ATTAKDED THEM SIND THEN (SEE CRIEME SCENE DRAWING!). IT"S TOO FUCNE BAD, SINCE IT"S HARD TOP LAY ROCK BAND WQITH NO FUCEN TONGUE AND BORKEN WRITSTS! I DON"T KNOEW WHO DIDI IT, BUT I G UES SD ME AND MY DATYCARE CKIDS WITLL GET SOME QUIET AND TA\RMAL NOW!

Neighbors and TARMAL

2009-02-23T19:29:00.001-08:00

MY FUCEN SLAPWHIOAR NEIGHBOS ARE PLAYING FUCEN ROCK BAND AGIANQ! THEY AREW FUCEN TONE DEF AND THEYRE PLAYING THAT FAGAOTHHY OASIS SONG "DONT LOOK BACK IN FUCEN AGN ER"! I HATE THST SHITE! MYD AYCARE KIDS COME AT 7 AM IN TEH FUCEN MORNING ANDI NEED TO GET OSME SLEPE AND TARMAL! I NEED TO DISINEFECT THE FUCEN TOYS, AND FUCEN TOLL HOUS COOKEIS DONT FUCEN BAKE THEMSELVES!

VOTE "YES" INT EH COMMETN TBHERAD IF YOU THINK I SHOULD FUCNE GO UPSTAIRS AND BEWAT HTE FUCEN TAMRLA OUT OF THEM! I WILL BATH IN THEIR FUCEN BLOOD AN DPOST PICGTURES!

Valentine's Day and TARMAL

2009-02-12T21:00:00.000-08:00

IT"S ANOTEHR FUCEN VALWNTINES DAY! DI YOU BUTY YOUR WHOAR SOME CHOCOLATESS? A UTE LITTLE FUCEN BEAR? WIULLS GHE SUCK YOUR MEAT HNOJW?

VSLENTINE"S DAY IS A FUCEN CORP@RATE HOLDIAY! IT HAS NO FUCEN MEWANING! THEY JSUT EWNAT YOU TO BUY JLOTS AND LOTS OF SHIT!E! WH&T NEXT?? DO I HAVE OT BUY SOME FUCEN GITFS FOR BASTILEL DAY? IDES OF FU EN MARCH? I FYOU ONLY LVOE YOUR SWEWTHEATR TON ONE FUCNE DAY A YEAR< THAN YOURRE A FAGATOH AND YOU HAVE NOF UCEN TARMAL! TYR NOT TO BE A FUCEN SLAPHOLE AND MAYBE YOUR WONT" BHAV EAOT BUY FUCEN CHOCOLATES! NOT LIKE FUCEN CARLA AND THAT ASHOSLE STEVE AT DSEARS! FUC THENM AND THEIR NO FUCEN TAMRAL!

Corporate Responsibility and TARMAL

2009-02-01T10:17:00.000-08:00

EVER SJINCE I G#T OUT OF FUCEN COUNT Y, IVE BEEN RUNING A DARY CARE BUASINESS IN MY HOME! COCKASLAPS ALQYAWS HAVE KIDS< BUYTHTE FAGAOTHY ECONMY IS EVNEM HURTING FYTHETEH! AS UNEMOPLYTEMENT GORQNS, FUCKERA KEEP THEIR KDIS AT HOME! WHY HAVE FUCNE DAY CARWE IF YOU"RE NOT AT QORK ANWYAY?

WHAT I WABNT TO FUCEN KN(OW IS IF THIS ECONOMICD NOWNTURN WIL INSPIRE LESS ORPONATE GREED!? WILL FAGATHOS BE LESS AGGGEREISSIVE AN D TAKE LES FUCNEN FIN ANACIAL RISK? OR WIULL IT BE THE SMW OLD FUCKEN TAMRAL?

Riemann and TARMAL

2009-01-13T19:13:00.000-08:00

WHN I WA IN FUCEN COUNTY, I HD A LOT OF TIME YOT HTINK AOBUT MATHEMATICS, PARTICULARLY THE FUCEN RIEMANN HYPOTHEISIS AN DHTE FUE ZETA FUCNTION:

DO YOU FAGAOTHS THINKT HAT THE NON_TRIVIA FUCEN ZEROS HAV ERELA PART ONE-HALF? DOE STHE ZETA FUCTION HAVE FUDEN TAMRAL? FEELF REE TO PUT YOUR COCLK SDLAP COMENTS! UNELS SYOU"RE FUCEN REBECCA WHO JSUT STOPS BY TO CALLF LYTHEETH A RETSRD! IF OYU KNOW HER< SSLPS THAT WHOR IN THE FACE!

Kittens and TARMAL

2009-01-09T20:44:00.000-08:00

I LVOE LITTLE KTIETENS! THEY SR NEOT COCKSLAPS! TYE KNOW TRUEL TARMAL!

Visual TARMAL!

2008-12-29T19:54:00.000-08:00

FUCEN BLACK ICNE ON A TENENIS COURT @#2 WITH ITWHITE CIRLCES LIEKK SORERES ON IFNECTED SKIN! MAKES ME FESEL TARMLA!

Tom Waits and TARMAL!

2008-12-29T19:53:00.000-08:00

I FUCEN LVOE THAT SONG "TIEM" BY TOM WAITS!

WELL THE SMARRT MOENYS ON HAROW AND THE FUE IINS IN THE STREET!
AND THE SHOWADOWN FAGAOTHS ARE BREAKING ALL THE LZWS!
AND OYJR"E FUCEN EAST OF EADST ST. LOUIS@, AN DHTE IND IS MAKING TARMALS!
AND THE RAIN SOUDNSL LIKE A ROUDN OSF COCKSLPAS!
AND FYTHEETH IS WEEPING IN A CARNIVAL SALOON!
HIS INVISIBLE WHOARS IN THE MIRROR
AND THE BAND IS FUFCKEN GOING HOME, ITS RAINGING TAMRLS, ITS RANING FUE!@23#@!
ANMD IT S TURE THERES NOTHIGN LEFT FOR HIM DOWNTHERE!

AND IT STIEM< TIME, TIME, AND IT STIME< TIME TIME
AND ITS TIME, TIME< TIME, TIME THAT YOUT AMRAL
AND ITS TIME< FUCWEN TAMRAL TIME!

Belated holiday TARMAL!

2008-12-29T19:52:00.001-08:00

MORE FUCEN SONGS FOMR FLYTHEETH!

LITLTE TARMAL BOY!

FUE #THEHYT OLD ME, PA RURJLK PA PFUM PUM!
A NEOW BORN SLAPHOLE SEE< PA RUM PAY PUM PUM!
SOMEO PIEC EO FSHIT I BRING< PAU RU PUA UPUM PUM!
TO LAYBEFORE THUS DOUCHE@, PA URM PUM PU PUM
RUM )PUM FUE PUM@!
RUMP UMP PUM PUM!

SO TOM TRMAL HIM, PA UTRM PUM PUM PUM
WHEN I COMWO !

LITLTE CRISS ANGLE, PAU RUM RUM PUPM PUM!
I AM AHIUT COCKSLAP TOO< PA RUM PUYM OUMP PUM!
I HAVE A NIFE FOR YOU, PA RUM PUMP UPM PUM!
THAT:"S FIT TO SHANK YORU @ASS< PA RUM PUM PUMP UM
RUM PUM: :PUM PUM
FATHOTH PUM PU!

SHAJL I ASTAB YOUR FACW< PAM RUP PJ PUM
WITH MY SHAKN?

BLODNE HOTT NODDED, JPA RUM PUM PUM PUM!
HIS BLEEDIGN @@ FACE MET FLOOR, PAU RUM PUM PUM PUM!
I WORKE DMY BLADE OFRH HIM, PA RUMP UMP UM PUM!
I TAMRALED MY BEST GHUONFEM FHIM PA RUM PURM PUM!
RUM PUMR PUJMR! PUR!
FUE PUM PFDE FLAP!

THEJNJK HE DIED FOR ME< PA RUM PUM PUM PUM!
BEWATING MY MEAT!

Christmas TAMRAL!

2008-12-24T08:30:00.001-08:00

I LOVE FAGOTY CHRISTMAS CAROLS! THIS IS A VERSION OF MY FCUEN FAVOTRE, "DO YOU EHAR WHAT I HEAR?" SING ITHWI FLYTHEETH!

(originally posted on hcwdb.com)

SIAD THE FAGAOTH TO THE LITTLE WHOAR
"DO YOU FUCEN TARMAL?"
WAY DOWNNT THE STREETH, LITTLE HWOARE@
"DOY OU FUCEN TARMAL?"
A FUE, A FUE, DNACING ON MY MEAT!#
WITH A COKK AS BIGN AS A PIEP!
WIHT A COCK AS BIG A SA PIEP!

SIAD THE LTILE WHOAR TO THE SLAPHOLE BOY!
"DO YOUF UJCEN TARMAL?"#@!
SCRWEMING IN MY BRAIN< SLPAHEOLE BOY!
"DO YOU FUCKEN TARMAL!?"2
A SLUT, A LSUTH HIGH ON CRYSTLA METH
WITH BLACEKEND TEETH AS BLAK AS MY HEATR!
WITH BLACKENEDX THEETH AS BLAXK AS Y HEART!

DO YOUF UCKEN TARMAL?
DO YOU FURCEN TARMAL?

TARMAL, part 3

2008-12-19T19:20:00.000-08:00

PRETTY POSERT MESDUSA SPEUCLATES #@ THALT TAMRLA IS FLYTHEETH SAFE WORD! SHE IS FUCEN SMART2@, BUT I MLSUT RESPCTUFLYY DISSAGERE! TARML CAN BE A CRY FOR SAFEYT<@#, BUT YELTH ITS I S ALOS NOT SAFETY! AS FDREDERICDK NIETZSCHE 1ONCE SIAJD, " IT IS MY ABMIETION TO SAY In TEN FUCEN STENTNCES WHAT OTEHRS SAYI N A WHOL# FAGOATY BOOK!" TAMRLA IS MY TEN SETNENCES & MY BOOK!

FYUE!

Additional musings on Tarmal

2008-12-15T18:19:00.000-08:00

I STUDIEKD AT CORNELL FUCKDN FAGOATOHS! IN MCY #COMPAREATIVE LIT CLASDES, I REALXIED THA T ALL MEN HAV#J WITHINMS< THEM AL DUAL ANTUER! ON ONE HAND #@, WE SHEEK TO HELP OTHEJR FAGSOTHTS! BUTH THE STRONGER IMPULUSE IS STO HCOMFORT OURSELES ONLY#3, MOSTHJ DECXSUESE WE AREJ AJLLL SLAPHOELS! SCREMIGN "TARMAL!" I SMY WAY OF CLEBRATING ANDM REGRETITNG THESE DUDLA IMPULSES INMYSELLFE!

I LSO PISS INMK SLME WHOAR"S ASS!

@3

An Etymology of TARMAL

2008-12-02T19:32:00.000-08:00

IN MY TVRAVELS< MANY HVE ASKD ME ABOUT@ TARMAL! "WHT THE FUE IS FUC"N TARMAL," #*TEY ASK?

##3#!

IN COUTNTY I HD LOTS OF FUC'N #@TIM TO PNDER PHILOSPHY & SHTE! NO FUCKN WHOARS DESTRCAT ME FORM THUOGHT IN PRAISON#3! FAGOATH< IT S HARRD TO DECRIBE TAMRAL PRECSELY, BU#T IT HAS SNMETING TODO QIHT TH DUALITY OF MAN< FAGAOTHS!

NOW FUCAN I BEAT MY FUACN MAEAT';A-0!@

FLYTHET